Can you all believe it is already February the 24th? Was it not New Year's Eve just yesterday? And wasn't high school graduation last week? And didn't Chrono Trigger come out...like...3 months ago? Surely, Time must quicken her pace as she continually races forward into futures unknown!
That having been said, I apologize for my long absence from the world of bloggery. Time keeps a swift pace, so before I know it, a once-in-a-while post apparently becomes a tri-weekly excursion. Being at work for 10 hours, further, does not put one in the right frame of mode for intensive creative thought at night. Surely bus driving is one of the most foolish acts that I or any man could have embarked upon! In fact, you might say it's one of my....
TOP 10 LIFE REGRETS!!
10. "Hmm......yeah I can play basketball without my brace today, I'll be f-i-i-i-ine."
(Repeat 4 or 5 times.)
9. This one time me and a gaggle of friends were in Columbus, Ohio to see Paula's team in the Ultimate Nationals. We were about....5, 6 miles from Dublin, Ohio which of course was the birthplace of Wendy's and the site of the original restaurant. At the time we were all too tired or busy to make the trip, myself included.......but what were we thinking? What was I thinking? When the hell would I be back in Columbus, Ohio for any reason? If I ended up in that city within the next 20 years for any reason not involving escaping a bookie I would be shocked.
But the point is, you say "Yeah I'll be back here eventually, it's only the original fucking Wendy's. It'll be there forever!"
Until they tear it down last year.
8. "Hey Jordan, have you heard of this Google company? They're kinda new, their stock is still pretty cheap if you want to go in on some with me?"
"Fuck that!"
7. This picture:
6. ......and this picture:
Uhh......Let's move on.
5. That time I bet all my money against the Harlem Globetrotters because I thought the Generals were due.
4. Bus Driving as a Full-Time Occupation
This may not be a fair entry, because it's something I don't necessarily regret in the here and now. But I have reasonable fear that in 30 years, when I'm still driving buses because I was too lazy to get a different job, I will be an entirely different creature. All records of my employment will have passed. My name will have been lost to the sands of time, and new students will fear to ride on my bus, a wandering slip of shadow which some say still haunts the strip of Route 1 between the View and Applebee's............
3. The Epic Snack Wrap Battle
The Snack Wrap...for the longest time I coveted these beautiful culinary jewels as if they were forged in the golden depths of Montezuma's castle. They came crispy...or grilled! With honey mustard sauce....or ranch! And they were just the right size and price. Surely, each Snack Wrap was stripped directly from God's cuticles.
And then the battle began.
A simple contest, really. Me versus Sean. First man to eat 5 snack wraps. One is standard of course, two is more than acceptable. But number 3 packs a heavier punch. By number 4, you wonder what you were thinking. And lastly, number 5 makes you feel like you were there at the beaches of Normandy. We both finished of course. In terms of sheer size, 5 snack wraps is hardly deadly. But the combined force of their awesomeness is too much.
Antiquated jargon aside, me and Sean used to love snack wraps, and this contest simply proved the old adage about the abundance of good things. I think my snack wrap consumption went from 20,000 in 2006 to 3 in 2007.
2. Radiata Stories
A video game that's ridiculously frustrating to play? A game which finally plays on my fanatical desire to ensure kicking is my only way to interact with objects? And for only 50 bucks?! I'm sold!
1. "Hey Sean, let's get you drunk and see what happens!"
Actually, I honestly fear Sean's return. He tried to kill me frequently before he was trained by the U.S. government to rigorously study various means of combat. Perhaps he will learn the ways of mercy in his time on Parris Island??
(Meanwhile, in South Carolina, Sean inexplicably happens across this website, and chuckles to himself knowingly....)
Tune in next time kids for another....Inane Rambling!
5 comments:
Those pictures were the best.
large quantities of malt liquor always make for wonderfully regrettable evenings. or afternoons or mornings...whatever you wish.
Um, your blog sucks since you stopped posting. AND did you see tis phenomenal interview?
http://radaronline.com/from-the-magazine/2008/03/will_arnett_arrested_development_amy_poehler_01.php
Radar is a magazine I really want to hate but can;t not love, as everyone who writes for them is obviously just like me.
Ben
Oops. OK. Just go to radaronline.com and read the Will Arnett interview.
haha, you have a blog. And facebook. Ha.
Of course I'm gonna find this site. And of course I'm not REALLY going to murder you, just because ive been taught the flaws with my "butchers knife and floss" death trap(last weeks class "what nOT to do when drunkenly murdering friends").
And if I recall correctly, I wasted WAY more time on that piece of shit game than you did. Nut that was just because Ganz was awesome.
And (silly question) have you seen the wendys snack wrap variant? I'm somewhat rehooked. They're phenomenal.
Also you're gay.
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