To many people, following a There Will Be Blood post with a defense of Billy Madison is something like, "Well I just finished War and Peace, I better read up on my Penthouse Forum." But please, hear me out.
Many people know that Billy Madison is my hands down, absolutely no question favorite comedy of all time. But I've noticed that I am in rare company (there's me........maybe Tim......yep. I mean, I know many people out there who like it, but to say "favorite"?) Many people just can't get behind the inherent "stupidity" of the movie. It's silly, it doesn't make sense...it sophomoric. I'm here to tell you that Billy Madison is in fact true genius, and that it should rank up there amongst Michelangelo's David and the Pyramids as testaments to the possibility of human creation.
First of all, about 98% of the jokes have nothing to do with the movie. If you cut out all the "unnecessary" scenes, jokes, shots etc. etc. the movie would be like 10 minutes long. Allow me to give you a listing of some of the best moments, and let it blow your mind that they all end up in the same film somehow.
Remember that part where Billy sees a man in a penguin suit when he gets drunk?
Remember any and all of Chris Farley's scenes as psychotic bus driver?
Remember that scene where Billy's two friends inexplicably show up with the bus driver and eat all the students' lunches when they are on a field trip?
Remember the montage sequence when Billy is in first grade and they...they actually put the time, effort, and money to have this shot...they show a scene where his teacher clearly delights in smearing glue all over her eyes?
Remember that part where Steve Buscemi's character Danny McGrath(any movie with SB automatically gets a minium 8.5 rating), upon getting Billy's phone call apology decides he's not going to kill him anymore and relaxes by putting on lipstick?
Of course we haven't even gotten into dialogue yet. This movie's dialogue would make the Bard weep with envy.
Frank: Hey Billy who would you rather bone....Meg Ryan...or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or Jack Nicholson 1974.
Frank: '74
Billy: ............Meg Ryan
So....he'd rather bone the old Jack Nicholson over '74 Nicholson? or Meg Ryan? Or maybe the brilliance is that this isn't some some jokey ha ha conversation to show their rapport, it's just an honest question with an honest answer. Done. Next scene.
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn, is one piece of aaacccee. I know from experience dude, if you know what I mean.
Billy: .........No you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally. But a guy I know, he and her got it on! whooo--eeeee heh hah..ha......
Billy: No they didn't!
Bus Driver: ....No no no they didn't. But you can imagine what it'd be like if they did, huh? Right? Haha...heh.....oh......
And what about the one-liners? (If pissing your pants is cool, than consider me Miles Davis.)
Or a movie having cameos by Norm MacDonald, Chris Farley, and Steve Buscemi?
Or that pointless running subplot involving the downfall of the O'Doyle clan?
Or that completely ridiculous two-minute song in the middle featuring that clown that you saw for like 10 seconds earlier in the movie and then immediately forgot?
Alright alright alright. I realize that this analysis is simply a rehashing of all the quotes and scenes in the movie. Further, you all know by now I'm being (a little) facetious. We all know this movie is no Citizen Kane. But when you're talking about pure comedy, how many laughs per minute you're getting from the movie, how can you go wrong? For every film minute I think I die laughing at least two or three times. I hope that seeing some of the best moments captured in one post will convince you all to look back and say "You know...that really was the best comedy crafted by human hands!"
And if you still wanna be a dick about it then by all means bust your gut watching Gosford Park.
4 comments:
The original Jackass movie racks up the most laughs per minute (L/M) in my movie watching history.
And Juno is not a good movie. Anything that solves all of the problems in the first 20 minutes is considered a snoozefest.
Excellent post. Two of my favorite parts of the movie that make no sense include:
1. At Billy's 2nd grade graduation party, which is water park themed, that little blonde kid sits on a sprinkler and screams.
2.Norm MacDonalds character refers to a night where an old guy stomps out the flaming bag as "the best night of my life"
Great stuff.
We all love Billy Madison, sure, but this film could not exist without the groundbreaking insanity of a few older (and therefore better) films:
Airplane! (1980): This came out in 1980 and was probably the most frenetic thing anyone had seen in a theater up to that point. For laughs per minute, I'm sorry, this film is unbeatable. And I think it's pretty telling that the plot synopsis on Airplane!'s IMDB page is empty.
For God's sake just go here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080339/quotes
http://youtube.com/watch?v=q3rXK7NhWN8
Personal favorite: "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
Also:
Joey: Wait a minute. I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers.
Roger Murdock: I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot.
Joey: You are Kareem. I've seen you play. My dad's got season tickets.
Roger Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now Joey. Right Clarence?
Captain Oveur: Nahhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone, let him stay here.
Roger Murdock: But just remember, my name is ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an airline pilot.
Joey: I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try... except during the playoffs.
Roger Murdock: The hell I don't. LISTEN KID. I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
Of course, this film is also the unfortunate forefather of all those "Scary Movie" trash heaps. And probably, in some tangential way, Jackass (which is pretty fucking awful, sorry Russell)
Also, Airplane is definitely is the same comedic family tree as Love and Death (1975) and Bananas (1971), two really early Woody Allen films (Love and Death is among my favorites) that also apply a lot of zany irreverence to great effect.
And every film mentioned so far owes their puny existence to the genius that was Groucho Marx, and his very funny brothers. In fact, go ahead and take every copy of any comedy you own made since 1970, burn it and replace it with a copy of "A Night at the Opera."
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